The Time We are Given

One day several years ago, as I was leaving for work in the morning, I was feeling a little discouraged. The price of gas had risen to over four dollars a gallon. Thousands of people's lives had been devastated by Hurricane Katrina. Fritz was scheduled to have an MRI of his brain in order to diagnose over a year of unexplainable symptoms. What was happening to our lives! Where was God!
It was the end of September, long after dragonflies, but there he was, lighting on the tall, gone-by Tiger Lilly. Reminding me that he was still there, quietly doing his work, faithful, merciful and loving; intricate and beautiful; beyond understanding. So like my God. Tender beauty in his wings. Strength in his body. Wisdom in his eyes. Comfort and joy in his presence.
The dragonfly has a way of coming back, reminding me that he is still here long after the hot summer season has passed. The day we went for the brain MRI, the dragfonfly showed up in the ladies restroom. Fritz had gone down the hall with the nurse to have the test done, leaving me in the waiting room....to wait. I slipped into the restroom to pray. After a few minutes I looked up and noticed on the wall beside me, a large picture of a beautiful dragonfly. Once again, the dragonfly reminded me that God is with me. When I don't see him, when I am alone and afraid. Even in late October....he came back again....for me.
A few months later we were heading to Dulles Airport. Fritz was driving. I was stressing. The traffic was terrible. Kristin (our oldest daughter) was flying home from Boston, MA after spending a week with some friends of our family. As we inched up the highway, the clock seemed to take giant steps forward. I couldn't stand the thought that we would be late and wouldn't be there when Kristin arrived. This was her first time flying alone and well....you know, mothers are going to worry. I put my head down to pray and when I looked up again my eyes landed on the license plate on the car ahead of me. It read DRGNFLY. I immediately felt the reassurance that God was with us and that He heard my prayer. The dragonfly came back again....for me. Over the years the dragonfly continues to come back when I least expect him, reminding me again and again that God is with me. He knows I need a constant reminder of His presence.
When my grandmother passed away three years ago my aunts and uncles planned to have an estate sale of all her belongings. Before the sale, all the grandchildren were offered the opportunity to look through her things to see if there was something special that we might like to keep. There was a little dragonfly pin. I don't remember ever seeing Gramma wear it, but there amidst a small collection of costume jewelry, there it was, begging to come to me. But it was too late. By the time the word got to my aunts and uncles that I had requested the dragonfly pin, it had found its way to a little antique shop in Cape Cod, MA to be sold!
A year later, in June of 2011 my Mom and Dad had just returned from RI where they had been visiting relatives. When they returned, Mom handed me a little red box. I had no idea what it was. When I opened the box I was so excited to see Gramma's beautiful little dragonfly pin inside. The dragonfly came back again....for me. God is here.
Fritz is confined to bed, too weak to even sit in his wheelchair. He is using the oxygen machine day and night to help relax his breathing. God I need you. Sitting under a tent at the cemetery, the casket right in front of me, it is a hot summer day. The crowd of people around the little tent trying to step out of the sun and straining to hear the words. The last words that were ever spoken for Fritz. I sat next to my mother holding her hand. Our pastor's beautiful wife filled the air as she sang Near to the Heart of God. The dragonfly came under the tent, flew over the casket with the beautiful red flowers laying across the top, then right over my shoulder, past my mother and out the other side. God you are always with us. Thank you for the dragonfly.
I recently met a new friend who shares my passion for dragonflies. When I realized our common interest I could not help but ask her what significance the dragonfly held for her. She explained to me that the lifespan of a dragonfly is very short- only about a day. All they are to do in life they are to accomplish in the relatively short period of time they are given. She continued by explaining that we also must accomplish  what we are to do in our lifetime in the relatively short time we are given and that we never know how long that time will be. How beautiful. How true.